This is a hard blog to write, because I need to confess something that’s been going on for about a month now.  In order to come back from it, I have to be honest about how it happened and start journaling more so that I can start moving forward again.

My whole goal for the winter was to put on some serious muscle by adding loads of delicious foods to my meal plans…or perhaps I should say throwing my meal plans out the window and then locking it shut.  I managed to go up to 110 and keep it on long enough to add another 5 pounds of muscle to my physique.  It was all good and well until I realized one day that I could no longer see my abs.  I was washed out and covered over in a layer of fluid from nut-cracking workouts back-to-back.  This happened last Wednesday, and I’ve been biting my lip all week wondering what to do.  I know it’s too early to start preping for summer goals.  I could lose muscle if I started too early, and also get burned out just when I’m supposed to be ramping up.  But if I DON”T start right now, I’m going to lose my mind.  Weighing my options: losing my mind or losing a bit of muscle?  The choice wasn’t hard.

It’s probably something I’m going to have to get over.  My husband has been trying to pace me, guiding me carefully each week through my goal.  I should trust him, he’s never been wrong about this.  However, not fitting into my jeans makes me feel dizzy and weak in the knees.  I know, I know…it’s just another part of the cycle.  You gotta put on fat to put on muscle.  In my head, it makes sense, and it’s exactly what I would advise others to do.  And TRUST me, no one loves food like I do!  I love a good excuse for a Dairy Queen Sundae, or a triple layer hotdog.  This is part of the problem…fatty, greasy, yummy food is a gate way drug for me, its my kryptonite.  When I start becoming relaxed with my diet, stuff just kind of snowballs.  Or should I say avalanches?  It has something to do with the lack of discipline.  If I stop my routine, everything else gets sucked in too, like a black hole.  Not measuring out my food, carefully planning my meals, or keeping a work-out-log makes my brain go lazy on me.  I get too carried away.  I have a perfect example of how my will power fails completely every time I let my guard down for a second.

Two weekends ago, just before we settled in for movies and bed, Walter and I nuked a bunch of Foster Farm corn-dogs (WTF?), which wouldn’t have been too bad, had I not dipped all three of mine in 1/2 a cup of strawberry jelly AFTER I covered them in syrup.  The next day I felt like I’d had a…Bom Bom Bom… FOOD affair.  I felt guilty, covered in shame, and I was pretty sure I had jelly on my face and fingers.  I could get caught!  Scandal, Scandal!  Escandalo! I even learned it in my Spanish lesson today.  It was the guilt speaking.

I got over the aftermath of the affair quickly.  After a 1hr Jujitsu class, figuring I burned around 700 calories or more, I was starting to feel more level-headed.  Then I raked the entire property in the glorious balmy spring weather for 2 hours (probably over 1k calories).  Later in the night I did spinning while watching Arrested Development for a full hour.  I’d gone and made up for my sins, and then a good friend came over who I hadn’t seen for a few months.  She brought wine, cheese, crackers, and cookies.  I resisted the food until 3 glass of wine put a sock in the mouth of my willpower.  As my willpower sat bound to a chair by duct-tape, the rest of my body ate dinner with the kidnappers: half a wheel of brie, a full box of crackers, and about 7 cookies, give or take a few…or a lot.  That’s not to mention the delicious wine from Sonoma.

The next day was payback.  I went to the gym for my back-day, feeling wonderful.  When I took my shirt off (I only work out in my sports bra) I took a double take in the mirror and quickly put my shirt back on.  I even looked around to see if anyone had been watching.  I had no definition at all!  It was so bad that even my monster quads blended into my knee caps.  I looked like the melty monster.  Surprisingly, you’d think after I loaded up on all that junk I would be overcome with mega GMO superpowers, glowing like a nuclear bomb-site.  Not the case.  I was weak, fatigued, and still sore from my last work-out, even though I’d had plenty of time to recover.  I had a major catastrophic food bonk half way into my sets and had to leave to get lunch early.  That’s when I knew it was over.  I was going to have to end this affair before we both got hurt…(that is me and the other half of the brie-cheese wheel).

I opened the fridge on Tuesday and apologized.  ”It’s not you, it’s me,” I explained to the half-eaten jar of extra creamy Skippy.  Then I tossed him into the trash.  I threw out a few arm-fulls of no-no’s.  Dublin saw what I was doing and he said, “Aw! Not this again!  I love those frozen chocolate covered banana bars!”  I explained to him that I do too, and that’s the problem.  He looked surprised and said, “Are you going back on your food plan?”  I thought he was going to lecture me about my “eating disorder” like all the other jealous people who have to take a number to stand in hater-line.  ”Yes, I’m starting early.”  I was about to defend my position when he simply said, “Good.  You were starting to pop out a little like that time Lavender used a cup of baking soda on the waffle batter.”   He walked off without skipping a beat and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.  Having parents who are personal trainers/fitness competitors is probably the makings of a great yet disturbing sitcom.  No doubt he’d heard Lane say these things before, not just to me but to all his clients over the years.  Once a woman asked me how I could handle my husband “picking on” my body all the time and being “humorous yet harsh.”  I wanted to say, “because I would be ten times as mad if he let me look like you without saying anything.”  But I’m a sweet angel and I just shook my head and gave a solemn, “it’s difficult.”  In all truth, part of our commitment has always been our fitness.  He keeps me on track with his quick-witted remarks, and when I really deserve them they motivate me to get mad at the gym and do great work.  He’s always right on top of me when it comes to my hard efforts, so that’s why he was so devastated when he found out about the affair.

First he discovered the corn dog sticks.  Well, it wasn’t really that he’d done any digging.  It turns out my buddy and I were eating them in my bed and the natural thing to do while absorbed in watching The Black Swan dancer murder herself, would be to drop the used corn-dog stick right onto the bed.  There were about 9 sticks in between every layer of sheet on the bed and one stuck to his sock with a huge glob of jelly.  Well, that wasn’t the last of it.  By the time we’d moved on to another movie, “Never Let Me Go,” and were watching children being raised for body part harvest, we suddenly became overwhelmed with a craving for popcorn and cheese.  Apparently we didn’t like it, because there was more of it on the floor than in our bodies, though I knew we must have eaten a great deal because the whole bowl was gone.  I was horrified.

I was able to blame Wawa and the kids that time, and he believed me.  After all, I was behaving in his presence.  But the following night when he found my bright red Lucille Ball lipstick around the rim of the actual wine BOTTLE, it didn’t look good.  I explained, truthfully, that it was on there because I took the last swig.  But then he outsmarted me and asked how many glasses I’d had before that.  And what snacks had I partaken in.  Well, I started blubbering and sobbing (not really, maybe a little) and explaining myself.  I had to hear his WHOLE speech about bulking not being an excuse for bingeing, and that I needed a lot more of the right foods and much less of the wrong foods.  He jumped down my throat and did everything I told him to do when I was on top of my game and was certain I would never head back down the butterbrick road.  So, we had a talk and he can relate to me on one very important term.  He understands how harsh one must be on themselves to get back on the wagon.  I can’t just jump in and be half-assed about it.  I have to be either all the way in, or all the way out, and being out is NOT an option.  So, he agreed to let me start my summer program next week if I promised to end the affair and re-consummate my love for Hydrolyzed Collagen, cold tuna in a can, and raw spinach with cod-oil.

So…if you are finding yourself on the road back, finally pointed in the right direction but missing some steam, try it my way.

1.  Get rid of everything you can’t have that is lurking in your house.

2.  Get mean.

3.  Get mad.

4.  Try to get your kids to insult you, it really works to make the last two happen.

5.  Write yourself the food plan from hell.  Make yourself suffer: yams with no butter or sugar, spinach with oil and lemon, apple-cider drinks, plain turkey patties, butt loads of wood-dry chicken breasts.  It’s only for a month, what are YOU complaining about?

I’m going to start a formal log tomorrow, and I’ve decided to make it public.  It will be “glued” to my front page, and I will update it daily, both my food plan and my daily exercise.  I keep logs on my phone, so if I don’t update it daily then I will update it every time I get near the computer.  You can look at it for pure entertainment, but you also may catch some little tips and hints along the way, especially if you are already well into your routine and just looking to take it up a notch.  I am NOT recommending my regimen for people who are not already at their ideal weight.  If you are overweight and follow my food plan, you will only end up gaining more, so I really want to suggest that you only try to follow it if you know what you are doing.

Well, that’s my confession for the night!  Anyone want to share one of their own?

XO,

Orange Crush

How can we expect our minds to cooperate in our weight-loss and fitness if it has never been taught the true value of discipline? Without it you’re bound to be just another one of the thousands of people who gets a week in to a new goal and quits. One of my favorite ways of disciplining my mind, is through Jung Shin. This is a practice I learned through my son’s Kuk Sool Won practice (that’s him in the picture, sparring with Ryan who is a second degree black belt). His teacher, Tony, is a fourth degree black belt, and an amazing man. I noticed that Tony had the children sit silently at the end of every class, in a traditional meditation pose. They had to keep their eyes closed for a full two minutes. It was shocking how many children between the ages of 8 and 14 couldn’t even focus their minds for two minutes! And never mind the kids…the adults are already out of their seats, roaming around the dojo as they wait for their kids to get with it. I wondered if I could teach my children to meditate in this way. If so, I reasoned, then my clients could do it to as a practice for getting the mind ready to help the body become physically fit.

The point of Jung Shin is to sit silently without thinking anything. The brain should be clear of all thoughts. I figured most kids would be able to sit and close their eyes and think about cartoons, but I did not assume they could really focus and lose all thought. Turns out I was wrong. My daughter and my son beg to practice Jung Shin with me every day. Sometimes we sit by the fire, and on warm days we go outside. Everyone has their own way of practice. The goal is to recognize a thought when it comes into your head and make it vanish, holding silence as long as you can. A thought includes any words, pictures, or ideas. “I wonder if Peter remembered to go to the store.” When a thought comes into the head, we either open our eyes for a few seconds to reset and acknowledge the thought, or just try to push it out without doing anything. When we first started to practice Dublin could only go 5 seconds without a thought, and Lavender only 8. Currently, they both can go two minutes with less than three thoughts. Lavender practices each day for 30 minutes. I don’t even have to remind her. I usually do it with her, as it helps to have someone in your family doing the same discipline as you are. During the 30 minutes we sit with each other, but only allow feelings and sensations to come over us. We occasionally open our eyes to clear out a particularly sticky thought. Other than that we are “zen.”

As an example, here is a perfect illustration of what Jung Shin can do for a person. This is a little experiment I tried on my 5-year-old. She had eaten loads of Valentines day candy and was bouncing off the walls:

I asked her to do her Jung Shin outside to see if I could turn things around. Here was the result of only two minutes of practice:

Children especially immediately recognize the helpfulness of this sort of meditation. In fact, after we went back into the house, my daughter went onto the staircase and practiced for another 20 minutes on her own. I find this sort of practice helpful for the mind that is simply lazy and can’t gather enough “steam” to make things happen. It’s also great for helping develop habits. The more healthy habits you force yourself to have, the easier they are to sustain. If you are the opposite, like me, and you find yourself focused heavily on physical goals (like fitness), then Jung Shin or any form of meditation takes the mind off the physical realm long enough to detach from it, relax the mind and body, and move on through the day with a calm spirit.

And speaking of kids, did you know a lot of the things we do to help them learn healthy habits are still just as effective on us? For example, I’ve made my kiddos charts. One of them (the pink one) is a chart that goes based on their behavior. We practice etiquette, patience, and overall excellence. The better they do, the more spaces they move ahead. Each few spaces they get to earn something special, according to where they land and how far through they move during the day. They can also move backwards if the day goes badly. The other chart (green) is strictly for their discipline. You can see the categories I have chosen for them. They start at 1 every Sunday, and move their magnet pieces each day, according to what they have achieved. I LOVE the look on their faces when they make it to the end on every category. I can see them improving in each area every week, and the reward at the end is just an added bonus for them. I started myself out on charts when I first began my fitness routine. Except instead of trips to the dollar store and candy shop, I had massages, hair cuts, time alone at the cafe, and other grown-up pleasures. When discipline itself wasn’t enough to get me onto my cardio, then the reward was. Not to mention, using charts is just another way to practice discipline, after all, you could just move your pieces along without doing anything…

The point is that we need to bring back discipline. So what, who is really going to remember the 30 minutes a night that they missed of some random television program? Start making discipline a part of your life right now, and while you’re at it, this is the best time to start your kids on that ladder of healthy habits.

So what discipline are you going to start with?

Have a great week everyone,

;

~Orange Crush

The table was in a state of horror.  Everyone had a bemused sort of disgust on their faces.  Then Dublin said, “Oh yeah, Lavender?  That’s all wrong.  The yellow one is the one that tastes the best, the green one is the one that smells bad, and the red one does NOT taste like fruit.”

Needless to say my ego was shot down like cupid with a machine gun.  I got up and made the kids my favorite nutritious desert in hopes of making up to them, in some small way, for how badly I’d obviously messed them up.  By the way, later in the night, my dog was scolded for eating silly putty wrapped around Legos.  The whole thing is a failure.  Earlier, when we were at the store, Lavender was told no candy.  But as we strolled the isles she asked for some repeatedly.  I told her all about what that kind of food would do to you, one graphic detail at a time, while garnering MANY dirty looks from passer-bys.  Finally, she says to me, “I’m better at Karate than Dublin.”  To which I distractedly said, “mm-hmmm,” while reading the back of a can.  ”Yeah,” she said.  ”Try to hit me mom.  Do it like this.”  I looked up, not even half interested.  I took a fake swing at her the way she told me to.  Then she shouts, “Stop hurting me mommy!  I only wanted candy!”  People looked all around and spotted me with my fist up in the air.  Later I gave her a *gentle* scolding about not tricking people like that, to which she replied, “you trick us all the time.  Like you said dinner was not tomato soup, but really Hot Lava soup just to make us eat it.  I know it’s not Hot Lava, my teacher even said!”

Maybe this whole time I’ve been damaging their little brains with all my bribes, tricks, down right lies, and black-magic with health food?!  I can see it now, for their 16th birthday skipping the car to buy them a therapists couch.  I can see them at their own weddings offering paint chips with carpet chuck salsa.  And WHY was all this on my mind at all?  Because fitness and healthy eating continues to be an ongoing controversy in my life, and the lives of all health-and-fitness oriented people.  I call this chapter the:

<<——–TOO DAMN SKINNY, Anorexic, Godless, and Diabetic Girl.

Let me tell you about a few interesting examples of how people dislike the idea of health and fitness, and aesthetic beauty (or intelligence for that matter) for women.  My OWN mother grills me every time she speaks to me.  (Imagine horrible screechy/preachy voice here) “I had an eating disorder when I was young and I hope you don’t have one, too.  How much do you eat?  How often do you go to the gym?  Oh, I don’t know honey…don’t you think it’s an addiction?  Aren’t you worried about being too thin?”  Then she would move into even better territory like, “I just hate all those veins!  You have those veins sticking out!”  OR, “Oh you really do look as thin as you do in your pictures.  I saw that one of you where your face looked all skeletal and your skin was creasing.  That’s what happened to me when I HAD AN EATING DISORDER.”

You get the picture.  The best thing is what transpired the last time I saw her.  She began by insulting me, suggesting I had an eating disorder.  Then throughout the next 2 days, she proceeded to watch just how much I REALLY ate.  We had to stop every hour or two for me to eat my tuna, protein bars, and various snacks.  I scarfed down giant wet burritos, chocolate croissants, and Frappucinos like mad.  After a few days of this she noticed that I eat a great deal, and didn’t I worry about diabetes because it runs in the family and I really should be MORE careful with when and what I consume.  I wish I was lying for the entertainment of my readers, but I assure you, this woman is every bit as vile as you’ve read here.  But wait, there’s more!

Last week she had the audacity to send me an article about a young woman who turned down a $75K dollar contract with a fitness modeling agency because it, “wasn’t right in the eyes of God.”  If there is one thing even mere acquaintances of mine know about me (let alone my own mother) it’s that one should never use God in a way to prove power and control over the female species in a way to diminish their rights or integrity.  This poor girl had it brainwashed into her skull, that God does not want women to look this way.  Sad for her, but it has very little to do with me.  Still, when I confronted my mother about sending it, she would not acknowledge that there was a motive behind sending it.  Now this is just one example.  Here is another favorite.

Lavender and I were at the store with Walter, shopping for some flour.  Lavender asked for a box of Brownie Mix.  After arguing with her for a minute I explained that items like that are what have caused the obesity epidemic.  I told her if she looked in the shopping carts of fit healthy people, she would not see those items there, except for special occasions.  To this she replied, “and when the fat people go by they have lots of this in their carts.”  She got it!  ”Yes, sort of like that, but we don’t need to call them fat, just unhealthy.”  Just then a hefty woman shot me a dirty look and (I kid you not) shook her head at me.  Walter saw this and came over and said, “time to go!” in his sing-song voice and began to shuffle me away with his basket.  ”No way!” I said, and I stared down that lady until things got really uncomfortable and she went back to reading the sales page.  Just when I turned away she said, “you shouldn’t be teaching your kid that stuff.”  Excuse me!  Puh-leez!  I almost used Dublin’s line and asked her if she was related to Shamu, but I refrained from useless name-calling, after all, she did just give me an excellent example for my blog and had done me a great service.  The next hour was full of entertaining laughter as Walt and I discussed someone NOT wanting you to teach your kids about junk food.  This idea reeks of Republican, so far right outta sight ho-hum.

These are the conclusions I have come to about why being fit is so controversial.

1.  Misinformation.  Thanks to fitness magazines publishing so-called “sample diets” from fitness models attesting that they eat “4 blueberries, 10 almond slivers and 1/4 cup skim milk” for breakfast, people are getting the wrong information even from the right places!  Those diets are for pre-contest, and only used for 1 or 2 days before a show.  The food pyramid is a mess, and we are supposed to be subscribing to that Phooey!  There is a smear campaign right now on meat, claiming how harmful it is!  The FDA is suggesting people get 2,000 calories a day no matter how old, fat, or tall someone is, or their level of activity.  With all this oversight, how can anyone know what information is reliable when it comes to human dietary needs?  In addition, people misunderstand the relationship between food and muscle.  I couldn’t POSSIBLY be anorexic with this much muscle.  Muscle requires far too much nutrient to exist without proper and adequate nutrition.  Because of the muscle on my body, I consume nearly 1,000 calories per day JUST from protein sources alone.  This SKINNY BITCH eats A LOT! ————————–>>

2.  Prejudice and Jealousy.  What, you say?  Yes, just the way that some people have a prejudice against overweight people, overweight people OFTEN have aggravated/discriminatory feelings against hot ladies.  I’ve put myself into their shoes before (not literally, but…) and it would suck, quite frankly.  So, yeah, I understand the hatin’ ladies…but seriously, let’s stick to the facts.

3.  Big business and Pharma.  Do you think Betty Crocker has your best interest at heart?  Cutting costs on goods by using harmful fillers and less quality ingredients, and rasing prices at the same time because they know.  They know that you are stuck to a brand name (along with corn syrup and all the other wonderful shit you can cram down your colon).  Big Business for the food industry pays billions every year to skew scientific findings, fund campaigns to push GMO’s, and spend gobs of cash to make sure you stay addicted and mislead by endless advertisements?  Big Pharma says, “Why work out and eat well when you can take ____name of pill here____.  I like the new one for Lipitor that says, “when diet and exercise aren’t enough.”  Aren’t enough for who, Uncle Harold the quadriplegic?  Some days I feel like I’ve awoken in a nightmare.

Since we have just about 18 months left before making the jump to Spain, I’ve been studying up on this so-called rebel country.  Aside from the dozens of Spanish Learning CD’s, books, and DVD’s that liter my table, I also have been accumulating facts on the overall well-being in Spain.  I found a website by the World Health Organization, that lists mortality by country.  Cause of mortality is broken up into every category imaginable.  In EVERY category Spain ranked so far ahead of the United States that it wasn’t even amusing.  Areas with the highest risk for things like Cancer, Obesity, diabetis…in every category the US would be number 10 or 12 on the list for countries most prone to these illnesses….Spain would be down at 200.  You’re gonna love this, too.  As far as countries go by health, Spain is number 5 in the world.  United States?  Oh, by the way, we were 36th!  Is there any better indication that we are behind in the times with the war on Obesity?  Little ol’ Spain kicked out butts royally!  Good thing those Conquistadores are gone now!  (Except in all those crazy red states where they just turned into overweight white men with Southern accents).  Not to mention, their towns shatter ours any day.  Strip mall or sprawling history?  People tell me I am going to miss America.  They also told me this when I moved to Scotland, and I wish so badly that it was the case, but it wasn’t.  I loved the UK!  Maybe the people who continue to try to insist I will miss this place should try looking up Ronda, Spain, and THEN tell me what exactly I am going to miss.  :)

For now I’ll tell you one thing I am going to miss.  My beloved clients and all the amazing people I have met along the way who transformed their bodies for the purpose of health.  One thing I am not going to miss:  an arrogantly misinformed, science-snubbing, faith driven hatred and perpetually jealous yet self-enthused general population.  If that’s too much of a mouthful for you, wait a minute then grab for those ho-ho’s America!  It’s time to face facts.  You are obese.  There is no sugar-coating it, haven’t you done enough of THAT already?  No, it’s not pretty when a mom has to warn her daughter about being overweight, but it’s less pretty to see a haggle of teenage girls walking in the mall who are each 50 to 100 pounds overweight.  I’ll take that one ounce of prevention over a 300 pound cure any day.

Well, hope that was entertaining and not too much of a downer!  It was just on my mind, thanks to my good ol’ mom.

XO,

Orange Crush

It’s that time of year when retail stores begin putting away cold weather outfits and replacing the empty space with scanty bikinis. Most women, unfortunately, look at this as a time of dread and self-loathing. It doesn’t have to be this way, I assure you. For me this time of year is the time to face reality, make goals, and put your best foot forward.

Two dreadful years ago I went to Target to find a bathing-suits for an upcoming trip to Southern California. I wanted to look smoking hot. I picked about 6 different suits and went into the dressing room. Like many women, I left in tears without a single purchase. I was a size 9 in jeans, even after occasional gym visits. My butt was droopy. My stomach had a mommy pooch. My arms were like limp Chow Fun noodles. I was disgusted.

Now imagine if I’d given up, walked out and visited the nearest Baskin Robbins. Then this year I would be repeating the same sad story. Boring! I made a reality check for myself, took pictures of all my “junk” and made some solid no-nonsense goals. I also learned about body shape and how to find the right suit to accentuate my natural composition.

If you find your body is less than desirable, I want you to go bathingsuit shopping right now. I want you to buy two. One should be a solid dark color (black is best) in a one piece style. This should fit snug, but not be uncomfortable. If you have large breasts, do not get a suit with pads. If you are small up top, get a suit with an underwire and pads.

The second suit I want you to get is the one you start to drool over before you remind yourself that you would never fit into it. Yes, I want you to buy it, in cash, and burn the receipt. Why? Because humans are programmed with a setting called cognitive dissonance. I suggest you look it up.

The rule of CD is that you cannot do something without rationalizing it to its fullest extent. No one is immune to CD, and I’ve found it’s a wonderful tool for fitness.

Basically, when you buy an expensive suit that doesn’t fit you, you have two internal processes.

1: You bought a suit that will never fit and wasted perfectly good money. Shame on you, waster face! Who do you think you are?

2: You bought a suit that will fit you as soon as you get off your pity party ride, thus you will not have wasted money, but forced yourself to escape CD by making good on a previous decision. Maybe it sounds like psyco-babble to you, but it had worked in 75% of the people I have gotten to do it.

Hang the hot bikini where it will get the most attention. Envision yourself in it, and get MAD! You just wasted money…that is UNLESS you get it to fit you by next summer.

I did this myself last year, just when I thought I was at my peak of fitness. I still didn’t fit into the micro bikini I’d picked. It lit a fire under my behind something awful. As it turns out, I’m too small this year to fit into it. That $60 purchase was well worth it.

So, do you want to be boring? Repeat the SAME story year after year? Self-loathing, sickened by your presence in a bathing suit? Or do you want to choose your own adventure? Try on motivation? Make a date with yourself next year in a dressing room and get some serious self-respect? Your choice!

As a side tip, I’ve found the scrunch-butt bikinis are fantastic for showing off curves and minimizing undesirable effects. The photo up top is my recent purchase from www.chynadolls.com
This photo below is my purchase from Roufe on Etsy. I got it in black. Roufe is the BEST store for handmade suits and lingerie. I adore them!

Additionally, don’t forget that a tan will make you look smoother and slimmer. If you are sun-phobic, try Neutrogena Mist. It gives a beautiful, rich tan in about 5 days. I follow it up with Jergen’s Sunless Tanning Lotion.

Enjoy the summer! I know mine has JUST started!

-OC

As I wrote this, I was on my way to Mendocino for the week. I found a gorgeous three bedroom house right on the coast with a garden and a fireplace. Sometimes I need a getaway from the routine elements of life, but still need to maintain my fitness program. I spent the last four days working out hard in anticipation of missing out on the week…but that only covers the physical portion of my routine.

Most of my clients are business folks who travel often and for long periods of time. The excuses I hear on why they come back weighing 8 pounds more than when they left are pretty discouraging, especially because those stories are ONLY excuses. There is no reason to gain a single pound just because you couldn’t fit your kitchen in a suitcase. Since I’ve done so much traveling myself, I have learned even more tips recently.

1. Hydrolyzed Collagen Protein: At around 8 bucks per bottle, and each 2tbsp serving offering 15 grams of easily digestible high quality protein with 8 of 9 amino acids available in each dose…you can’t beat this stuff. I get mine from Twin Labs. It tastes awful, but it’s over quickly, and gives you the boost you need whenever you want it. Not to mention, the studies have shown amazing results in the skin, joints, hair, and nails of regular users. I am beyond impressed with the results I’ve already achieved. It’s super fast and easy in the go!

2. Snap peas and baby carrots: We did a little experiment on our last trip to Southern California. We packed sugar snap peas and baby carrots and used no ice. We just put them in ziplock baggies. It took 3 days in a hot car before the peas were a bit soft. They made for a quick serving of crunchier veggies at anytime.

3. Think Thin bars: You know I never promote fitness products because preprocessed food is NOT meant for daily consumption. However, on the go or in a pinch, Think Thin bars are the only protein bar I would ever recommend. The protein comes from whey, and the sugar alcohol in the bars is lower than almost any I’ve come across, meaning little to no stomach discomfort. Best of all, they taste pretty good. My favorite are the peanut butter! Not to mention, 23 grams of protein is really decent for a bar.

4. Emergen-C: I started by giving these packets of fizzy flavored vitamins to my kids. After months went by without them getting a single cold, I decided to use them regularly, especially on the road. For one, they have every vitamin and mineral you may miss by eating a processed diet. Two, they reduce illness dramatically. Three, when added to a bottle of water they kill my craving for a soda or sweet drink. They are delicious, kid approved, and have basically no calories.

5. Grocery Stores: Don’t go out to eat unless you plan to cheat. If you have a summer goal like the rest of us, stop at the nearest grocery store. In the deli you’ll find baked chicken, sushi, salads, cold milk, fresh fruit, and other acceptable meals. Best thing is there is a grocery store in almost any town you visit in the US.

6. Pack your gym shoes: No matter where you visit, bring your shoes! Most hotels have fitness centers. If you have an iPhone or iPad you can YouTube hundreds of workouts right on your device to do in your room. I always find a new place to explore when I leave town, which is a great way to burn calories and find new treasures…especially on the beach!

I’m having loads of fun, this place is incredible! You may notice I’ve changed my hair again, decided Orange Crush needed a sister . I had it done fushia, cotton candy, and my usual stripe of orange. Never thought I’d be so adventurous in my 30′s! I guess fitness really keeps the mind young!

-OC

(the view from my bedroom)

I’ve been on a high horse. Ever since I achieved my goal of 8% body fat I’ve been overturning scientific evidence and baffling my doctors. In 2009 I was sick so often that my doctors thought I had an autoimmune disorder. They ran tests and voodoo magic and turned up with nothing. Yet from the beginning of 2011 to the very end I was not sick one single time. Not from a flu or virus anyhow, but maybe once or twice from an all-night bender with my friends (shout out to Darin)

So what happened? My doctors actually don’t know. Yes, they have big degrees but they do NOT believe that fitness is the reason I am healthier than I’ve ever been in my life. Imbeciles. They say that with my body fat so low I should be catching far more illnesses. Not only that, but I refuse to take all their western meds, and I rebuke vaccinations of any kind. However, despite knowledge to the contrary, I am healthy, glowing, and feeling amazing!

This was all until Monday when I got hit with some kind of throat deal…pus splotches, pain, the works. No fever, no aches, just a swollen nasty throat. So how did I go about catching my FIRST illness since November of 2010? I will tell you so that you don’t have to go out and do it yourself as an experiment.

I got mega stressed. I was at the hospital and in and out of the ER with Darin for weeks, exposing myself to all kinds of stress germs. I then had surgery (and without missing a beat went back to the gym for more punishment). Then my mom came to town which is always great (wink wink). Then I went to San Francisco this weekend to visit my buddy. He’s kind of a wild card and we ended up drinking booze I’d never even heard of before at his in-home bar and out at Range, had bouts of running in the freezing rain with no head coverings, found ourselves walking the streets at 3am in search of Mission Dogs and other terrible raucous. I got no sleep for 2 nights, got on the BART and didn’t wash my hands before eating (about 10 times), and stopped eating regularly for the weekend due to an absurd schedule.

Breakdown:
Stress
Exposure to Buggies
Surgery
Lack of proper rest
Alcohol
Lack of nutrition
Not washing hands
Nighttime Sleep deprivation

Well, it seems pretty obvious to me that all those things cause illness…and my doctor agreed, too. It’s funny they want to talk about what causes illness, but not about what cures it. Go figure…

Nonetheless it’s only tuesday evening and I am feeling wonderful. After 12 hours of sleep, good soup, loads of fat, and Oreganol (google it, its a total must have), I’m back to normal without having taken my antibiotics. Oh I’m sure my doctors would have plenty of ways to argue over that one. .

Be fit, stay well everyone!

—OC

Happy New Year everyone! Let’s talk about taking the plunge and starting the New Year out with those wonderful, if not illusive, resolutions!  With all the hoopla about 2012, one thing is for sure: this year should be exciting! And of course, the number ONE topic people think about at the beginning of every year is their health and level of fitness. I don’t know what it is about January that lights a (temporary) flame under the behinds of lazy folks, but it must be some kind of magic. Maybe it’s the splurging on delicious holiday treats that makes people cringe after a trip to the bathroom scale. Whatever it is, I’m not going to tell you to fight the urge to feel motivated…it’s all money in my pocket! But I’ll tell you quickly why I don’t think New Year Resolutions are effective for weight-loss, and how you can avoid falling off the January bandwagon.

About three years ago, when my youngest was just a toddler, I went to my 10th high-school reunion. It was December and the entire class of 1999 met at a local bar. I watched in semi-disgust as most of my old classmates guzzled down beer after beer, ate baked pretzels by the fist full, and otherwise gorged themselves in a horrifying display of reliving their youth. I was watching everyone and it dawned on me that we ALL had lost our sexy, youthful high-school bods and had gained bellies, love handles and the dreaded muffin-tops…IF we had manage to avoid downright obesity (which many had not).

I left feeling pretty icky. Granted, my body had carried two babies, and I ate like a hungry pigeon at a carnival. Still, I wondered HOW my husband (who is 12 years older than me) managed to look way hotter than any of the guys from the class of 99. Of course he was a personal trainer for over a decade, with a past in cycling and professional body building. But since we’d had a family, he wasn’t nearly as active as he’d been at one time, yet still managed to keep his muscle and overall physique in tip-top shape.

When I returned that night I belly ached and moaned about how fat and undesirable I felt, and how dreadful everyone looked, and how terrible the food was. My husband just sat on the edge of the bed, listening to me whine. When I was done he said, ” okay then, are you ready to do something about it?” I thought about that, and ALL the hard work it would be, and about all the gross healthy food I would have to eat. “Yes!” I replied enthusiastically. “it’s going to be my New Year Resolution this year!”

My husband groaned and shook his head. “Please don’t do that. Just start now, tonight.” Well, as with most things I ignored him and proceeded to write my goals down on paper and put it on the fridge for the magical day of January 1st.

When the first arrived (which I had been dreading) I immediately cleaned my fridge and cupboards of all the bad foods I’d accumulated. I ate salad, boiled chicken breast, and yams for the whole day. I took an oath that no candy or carbs would come thru my doors, and wine was strictly forbidden.

During this time I began going to the gym twice daily. I was pumped, I was revved up–I was also terrified and anxious. My husband tried to calm my nerves, help me focus on the short term rather than the whole picture…but did I mention how terrible I am at listening to him. All the pressure and expectation I put upon my New Years goal began to weigh on me. Instead of looking at it as one day at a time, I looked WAY ahead at the final goal, fixated on how long it would take me to reach my desired physique.

Over the days I became stricter, more restrictive in my diet and more liberal in my workouts. As you may guess, right around the three week mark I hit burn out, just like everyone else who made the same resolution. By March the gym was a ghost town.

I had only lost 2 pounds, and it was the peak of the cold season. I got sick from the stress, and was set back even further. It was around the second week in February when I seemed to have forgotten my goal completely. My carefully written list had fallen off the fridge, there was junk in the house, and I’d been out to eat three times that week. So what happened?

Fitness and health cannot be a resolution. Resolutions, by definition, have eventual resolutions (meaning they resolve). Fitness and health is life long, it never ends (if you do it right). You can’t start out a life of health with a temporary goal.

You also can’t project into the future and imagine how long it will take you to BE fit. Health is a daily activity, choosing good food over bad ones, choosing activity over sedentary lifestyles. You reach your goal EVERY time you make a good decision. Instead of looking at it like collecting grains of sand to eventually make a beach, see each choice as the entire goal. One by one, a day at a time. Resist putting a number on it (such as stopping when you hit a size 7).

Don’t lay parameters or make outrageous goals. If you must make a goal at all, make it this: to make the best decision for your body one choice at a time, for the remainder of your life. It’s that simple….the size 7 will come soon enough, but it won’t make a difference because you’ll have the simple tools to just keep going.

Have a wonderful New Year everyone!  My New Year’s day breakfast was an egg whiteomelette filled with spinach and tomatoes, with sourdough toast and fresh squeezed orange juice.  Daily goal: check!

XO

Orange Crush

Hello Everyone! I hope your holiday season has been one of magic and joy. There has been so many going-ons that I have fallen way behind on my blogging. However, I did manage to write the newsletter, which will be sent out next week.

I want to offer everyone a word of encouragement, especially for those of you who have not yet met your weight goal while going into the temptation of holiday treats. I am one who strongly believes in eating what you want on a holiday. Part of the enjoyment of the season is indulging, being at a table with your family, and trying new treats and drinks you normally don’t have. I’m not telling you to go and ruin all your hard work by junking out on snackey cakes and cheesy poofs all week, but everything in moderation is the key to a fun and successful holiday.

This morning I woke up and made the adults and egg-white scramble with tomatoes and herbs. One hour later, I made cinnamon rolls from scratch for the kids. The adults each ate one along with a cup of hot cocoa. The trick is balancing the bad stuff with good stuff. It’s also great to do your cardio in between meals. Hey, if smokers get to take smoke breaks, and sports fans get to sit and watch TV while the women slave in the kitchen, then what is stopping you from taking 15 minutes to yourself twice a day to stay in shape, and overcome guilt? Invite your husband or your kids with you, and bring a camera!  Holiday hikes are great fun.

Speaking of guilt, I started on my Christmas food binge last week when we went to Squaw Valley Ski Resort for a few days. This time of year it is pure magic up there! But even with all the beauty around me, I found myself taking picture after picture of my food. Shrimp, tri-tip, and all the gorgeous meals they serve. They had a full gym there as well, but I decided not to use it, but to use the hot tubs instead. Even hardcore fitness geeks need a little R&R every now and then.

The vacation was great, and ended when I went to have my surgery. Going to Tahoe for surgery was the perfect excuse to really make something not fun into something enjoyable. It worked! We roasted s’mores, walked through the village, watched the kids sled, and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. The condo we rented had a jacuzzi tub, which was the highlight of the trip according to the kids.

My procedure went very well, and I am recovering already. I had wanted my belly button back for a few years, and now I have my inny again! I also had the lipoma removed that was making my abdominal muscles look uneven. Now I’ll get to enjoy my perfect six-pack this summer…finally!

I cant wait to post pics of my new belly button, and also post the pics I took in Tahoe. I got the iPhone 4s and am still trying to figure out how the heck to get the photos onto my desktop. I used Instagram. If anyone knows, drop me a line! I get free texting, so it’s another way to reach me if you need advice for meals or just some extra encouragement. I
have been using the phone to take videos for you all, which you have probably found by now in the client only section. Feel free to request anything and I will try to find time amidst the chaos which is my life! I will be back in the gym in about 2 weeks.

In other news, Darin is finally home from the hospital! I took good care of him, stayed in the ICU with him and bossed the nurses around to make sure he had everything he needed.  We are so glad to have him home, and keep sending prayers and thanks to the universe for his speedy recovery. Hopefully he will be ready to resume training clients in the early summer.

This time of year I take the time to recognize my blessings. I have all my family near to me, our home is warm and safe. We have wonderful food, we have our faith and love, and a tree packed with Christmas goodies!

Happy Holidays Dear Ones, from our family to yours!

The Body Card Team
Ps: please forgive me for any typos, as I wrote this blog on my iPhone with a little help from my hot virtual assistant.

I want to encourage everyone to really experiment with food this season.  The autumn and winter months create a longing in our bodies for solid, healthful foods.  Take advantage of your cravings to create some amazing meals.  Experiment with color, herbs, and veggies you have never tried before.  And remember: our bodies require extra fats during the colder months to prevent illness.  This is the perfect excuse to really dress up your typical diet!

Also, don’t forget to include your whole family in the process of experimenting with your weekly meals.  Many people become so focused upon their own nutritional needs, that they forget that children are even more prone to illness during this season.  I know, it is hard to force a child to love a healthy meal.  My children are picky, as most parents will also attest, yet we have found ways of even accommodating their very ordinary palates.  My best new trick is to make our adult portions of the meal first, adding all the good stuff–such as garlic, cayenne pepper, and onions first.  Next, create half the dish for your children which is left un-spiced and without all the “good stuff.”

Tonight I made a deluxe meal, inspired by none other than a beautiful drive through the neighborhood to photograph the fall foliage!

I made Au Gratin potatoes, using both Yukon Gold and the small red variety.  I layers the adult side with Maui sweet onions, garlic, and paprika, along with fresh cracked pepper.  We also like sharp cheddar and Swiss, where as the kids only like regular cheddar.  So, for the children’s portion, I just did the potatoes with the regular cheddar, and no extras, in the same baking dish.  This is what it looked like when it came out of the oven, popping and sizzling.

Next, I made stuffed pork-chops.  I added cranberries (reduced in a honey sauce), sautéed apples (from our orchard), and crushed hazel nuts.  I mixed it all with a rosemary stuffing that I make by hand once per month, and store.  The kids don’t like onion, or garlic, and they also don’t care for the rosemary and spices.  So I stuffed their pork chops first, then added the extras and stuffed our portions.  Below you can see what those looked like when they were done baking.  This was “our” side of the dish, obviously.  In addition, to tempt your kids into trying something new, you can add an old familiar favorite to a new dish.  I allowed my kids to douse their pork chops in real maple syrup that our friends from Massachusetts send us every fall.

It was a great addition, one that we actually enjoyed!

So you all have an assignment for the week.  Go out with your camera, and bring your children along.  Allow them to photograph all of fall’s spectacular offerings…the acorns and nuts, the foliage and color.   Then when you go to the supermarket, challenge your kids to pick new items that remind them of the bounty they observed during your walk.  Grab some nuts as well, the crunch adds a beautiful, complex texture to an otherwise ordinary dish.

Well, wish I had more time to share, but I have some kitchen clean up to do now!  I will leave you with some of these awe-inspiring photos we took while on our little adventure today.

Love to all,

Orange Crush

This afternoon I had a real brainchild.  The stew meat that I store for the winter was deeply frozen.  I was feeling quite lazy, and didn’t want to have to wait to thaw it.  So, I grabbed out a fresh tri-tip, diced it into cubes, massaged it with a rosemary olive oil, paprika, a dash of chili-pepper, and Celtic sea salt rub.  I then tossed all the meat into the crock pot.

I sautéed one yellow onion, 3 stalks of celery, 3 cloves of garlic, and 8 heirloom variety tomatillos in a non-stick pan on the stove.  I added 3 tablespoons of sun-dried tomatoes suspended in olive oil to the mixture.  I then made the broth, which consisted simply of Better than Bullion Beef Base, which I have found to be a lifesaver in the kitchen!  For good measure (and a complete meal) I added 1/2 cup uncooked wild rice, which I had purchased on my last trip to the White Earth Indian Reservation in Minnesota.  The real thing is always far better than an imitation when it comes to rice.

I allowed the ingredients to slow cook throughout the entire day, turning the house into a virtual Shangri-La of aromas!  About 2 hours before the stew was finished, I added another tomatillo (finely diced) a few more stalks of celery, and some diced Yukon Gold potatoes.  This second batch of veggies is added to obtain texture throughout the stew.  A second addition of veggies that has not been cooked as long as the first gives any stew much more depth and crunch.

Needless to say, the stew was a complete success.  Because I was unsure that my children would appreciate the green color of the  tomatillos, I had made some oven-baked mac and cheese using organic, whole wheat noodles, organic half and half, Colby and sharp cheddar, and butter.  The combination of the soup and pasta was sinful, but perfectly balanced.

Stew serves more than one purpose.  Besides making your entire house smell like Martha Stewart’s kitchen, and aside from the healthful benefits of your ingredients, stew heats up the body for long periods of time.  A warm body means a faster metabolism, and the ability to burn more calories faster.  Stews that are made using bones, such as chicken stew, also carry the increased benefits from the marrow, which has been proven to help combat the colds and fatigue commonly associated with winter.

If you are a soup/stew lover like I am, try experimenting with some of the better winter vegetables that are always in season at your local growers market this time of year: Kale, squash, turnips, beets, parsnips, potatoes, Brussels sprouts, carrots, sting beans, broccoli, and cauliflower.  Next week, if I can find a lick of time, I may share with you my recipe for Cream of Cauliflower soup, which is so delightful that my children have NO idea they are actually consuming a vegetable. 

Love to all,

Orange Crush, Hoss N’ Feffer